I headed up north early Saturday morning. I was feeling quite low/reflective on Friday night. Nothing really triggered it, but the knowledge of seeing my 2 nephews tomorrow was making me feel sad.
at 35, I’m still single and no closer to meeting someone or having a family. I know that’s not a bad thing, and the relationship I was in last year taught me a valuable lesson. It’s better to be with the right person and consider having a family rather than settling with someone and having a family. Although I know I made the right decision , there were times that night I kept thinking I should’ve setttled. Given in to having sex without protection and let ‘the accident’ just happen.
but it’s funny how even writing out this thought just sounds absurd. I wish there was a way to slap me in the face when I reflect on that relationship and her request to have sex without protection. Just shake me and shout ‘snap out of it you wanker!! You made the right decision so stop doubting yourself!!’
So I was feeling pretty tired Saturday morning as my parents and I headed up north. We arrived later than expected due to traffic, where we were greeted by my little nephew who was looking very sad. My brother-in-law told me he wasn’t feeling well and had been throwing up quite a bit in the evening.
i found it hard to see the little man like this. I’m used to him running around like a little hurricane and exhausting everyone.
my sister was in the living room with my new nephew. He looked absolutely tiny. My sister got really upset at the sight of my parents so I excused myself to the bathroom whilst I let them be her parents.
i went down a few minutes later to see my mum holding the baby. She then handed him to me and he felt like holding a cloud. He was so much lighter than I remember newborns being. He was taller than his older brother was, but thinner, with a smaller face and less hair. He looked like a old man. I don’t know if all babies look like old people as I don’t remember having this thought about the other.
he was quite a calm baby apart from bouts of crying or wailing. I remedied this by showing him outside the window, and singing a little Oasis (Live Forever) which he seemed to enjoy.
i played some basketball with my brother-in-law’s young nephew, showed him the fade-away and the art of the stepback - but I felt very rusty given that I haven’t played any ball since my teenage years.
Around 6ish, we had my new nephews ceremony called a ‘Chati’. It happens on the 6th day from the day of birth where the family officially welcomes the child into the family. My oldest. Ephesians was still feeling ill and was struggling with the latest addition, telling his dad ‘this isn’t baby’s house this is my house’ etc. My sister got upset a few times. I think it was a combination of tiredness and feeling overwhelmed, but I sent my mum after her to deal with.
everyone left around 8ish and I was expecting to go too. I kept nodding off and ended up waking around 10.30 where I noticed the sofa was laid out. I assumed we were staying over. This irritated me as I had things to do and felt my Sunday would be wasted.
tried to sleep around 12ish but felt uncomfortable in my normal day clothes.
